The Melody of Motherhood

In the past couple months, I've had a few friends announce their pregnancies. I'm thrilled for them and for the journey they are embarking on - either as first time parents or in expecting their second child. Both present equally rewarding challenges. Life will reframe itself with each new heartbeat that will soon wrap their family with love. It is exciting to watch as my friends grow - both physically and emotionally. For me, I understand that my time to expect a child is done not due to physically limitations, but emotional ones. Four children is my limit. Each of my children is a blessing to me as they have uniquely taught me so much about life, love, and laughter - about seeing the beauty amidst the clouds because even on a rainy day a well and loudly sung rendition of "sun, sun, mr. golden sun" can brighten the day. But, we all have our limits. And as my friends' families grow, I am content in knowing that my family is complete. And in this completeness, I have come to learn that my role know is to support my friends and to impart wisdom when asked about raising children.

I never thought much about what I would be like as a Mom. In truth, I never pictured myself as a Mom. I babysat growing up, but I knew I was always the last resort on the block - Mrs. Colpi would call me when my sister or Julie were unavailable. And I think for about fifty cents an hour, I would deal with her six kids for most of the day. I'm fairly certain I potty trained two of them, and I know I taught Danny how to read - but I never thought about my own kids. I did what I did for the Colpi's because I went with the rhythm of the household. I didn't try to change who the kids were or who I wanted them to be - but instead, I was who they needed me to be. As I reflect now, I realize I do that with my own kids. They each have their own way about them - Matthew is the analytic, Emme is the creative spirit, Nicholas is the humorist, and Lucas is the charmer. Each complete my soul in a way that I need to get me through each day. I know there are days when I wish Matthew was more of a free spirit and Emme could be more intellectual - but that isn't who they are - it isn't how they see the world or their place in it.

My friends have asked me how I manage to raise my kids as I have - and it wasn't until tonight as I watched my kids - all four of them - trying to teach each other how to dance as they watched the hip hop number on "Dancing with the Stars" - that I realized what it is about motherhood. Motherhood isn't about crafting your children to be who you want them to be, but empowering them to be who they are at their core. It is knowing that the best we can do for our children is to let them grow into the person who they are meant to be and to teach them to love who they are and the beauty that their difference bring to the world. I can't imagine what dinner would be like if Matthew didn't ask at least five questions or Emme didn't create a story about her day that captivates you with its details and her own knowledge of "mom, you know this is fiction", and Nicholas telling jokes that have no purpose - or punchline for that matter but bring us all to a common voice of laughter - and Luke - he combines his sign language for "more" with his ability to say please as he grabs the last of the bread off my plate. Yes, there is a lot to motherhood - a lot that you can read about in books - but in the end, your children are the notes that fill the music of your soul and when you listen to their own rhythms, you know without hesitation how to be their Mom.

So, to my friends who are embarking on a new stage in their life - I say to you - embrace the music that will fill your heart and know that it was composed as a melody to your motherhood.

Good Mornings

Life comes at your fast sometimes and those things that we love to do the most, seem to get pushed aside. For me, it is my writing - something that I love doing, but find little, if any time to do. But, in trying out a skill for the undergraduate technology course I'm teaching - I decided to share a short tale from my morning. In a sense - getting me back to my blogs. I hope you all can hear it okay. It's a little echoey, but I didn't have a good microphone. Enjoy!