Thanks - giving

It was a crazy Thanksgiving weekend. As is our recent tradition, we went to my sister's house in St. Louis to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends. And as has become tradition, the weekend became, as my husband joked, "all the work of being home, but the discomfort of someone else's ...". I don't completely agree with him, but I do understand his sentiment - holidays are to be a time to relax and enjoy. But it never seems that way for me. And yet, somehow, I am okay with that. My kids had - as they would tell you - an awesome time and as a Mom, you do whatever you can to make sure your kids are well and happy. For me, I've come to understand my place in this life - one that I have carved and crafted - both consciously and unconsciously. And more importantly, I've come to find the time - amidst the craziness - I so crave as I wash the dishes and prepare meals. It is the time I crave to think about my life and the blessings that are in it. This Thanksgiving, I thought a lot about my friendships and how precious they are to me.

The Dad of a good friend of mine once said that you are as much defined by the friends you have as by the choices you make. As a mom, I take great responsibility in helping my children learn how to make friends and be a friend and how to make good decisions about friendship. By all accounts, I try hard to be a good friend, but admittedly, there are times, that I have failed a friendship. Because of this, sometimes, it is hard to know how to help my kids be thankful for the friends they have made - even in the short time they've been on this Earth.

Matthew's buddy Jaxson will be moving soon. They've been friends since Kindergarten - and although it has only been two years since they've known each other - they've come to consider each other best buddies. When you're seven, you have a lot of best buddies, but as you get older, you realize how the decisions you make start to define those who really are your "best buddies". There are those friends who make you laugh, those who make you think, those who make you want to be more than you thought you could be, and then there are those friends who will hold you hair back when you've had too much to drink, those who will look you in the eye and tell you the truth - even when it might hurt, those who will help you remember that you are beautiful, and those who will hold your hand as well as your heart. The choices we make in friends may define a lifetime of pleasure and a lifetime of pain. But, the choices are ours and we come to learn that if we stop making friends because they may move away, we stop learning how to live and how to love. My friend's Dad had great wisdom. In a simple statement, he made his children - and me - think about the consequences and the blessings of friendship. What are we willing to give and give up for the sake of friendship?

Matthew's heart will break when Jaxson moves away this Spring. Kickball won't be the same, his birthdays won't be the same, summer camp won't be the same, and play dates won't be the same. But, I tell Matthew that we come to know what makes a friend by how our heart hurts when they are gone and how our heart smiles when we remember the times that we have shared. And for that, we give thanks.