6 months and counting ...

Well, I've survived my first week and a half of training through I-Power Fitness. I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far. Okay so maybe I haven't accomplished much, but I have stopped wincing every time I try to walk down the stairs due to my quad muscles and I didn't hyperventilate after they took my measurements and weight. In fact, I calmly got off the scale, quietly cursing the 20 pound new Nikes I had bought. Clearly, I needed to buy a much lighter pair of shoes.

It is humbling when you look at yourself in terms of numbers. I felt like I needed to make an excuse for why I wasn't built like Barbie. I could blame it on my kids - I mean - four pregnancies do take their toll on your body. And, in many ways I always thought I could use my kids as a shield .... That I could convince myself that each extra pound that I carried was a right of passage into motherhood... That my stretchmarks were simply a sign of how my children grew inside of me - how I was able to protect them and comfort them for 9 months and not a result of the Strawberry Cheesquake blizzards I would eat late a night. But as the numbers flash across a screen, you are humbled. Okay - and a bit perplexed - how exactly is my left arm a good half inch bigger than my right arm? And, wouldn't I have noticed this before? I mean - are my shirts that tight-fitting overall that I neglected to feel a little more tightness around my left bicep? Yes, the numbers do make you stop and think ... and wonder. Could I convince myself that I was really the "new Barbie"? I mean, we all know that her measurements are unrealistic - not to say that she wouldn't be able to stand without falling over, if she were real. But, I decided that to debate the merits of Barbie's dimensions were not a good use of my energy. Instead, I should pick a role model and embrace her beauty and her "measurements". And so I did. I decided that Denise, one of the managers and lead instructors at I-Power was a good role model for me.

My trainers are great. But, they are young and are not Moms. (Okay - Garin will never be a Mom, but he's still young ...). I was looking for someone who had a good body and who was a Mom. I wanted to know that it was possible to regain a healthy body - both internally and externally - after giving birth. And so, I picked Denise. I also loved how she made me laugh whenever I'm there - so I figured - I'd like to be like her. And so, quietly over the past week, I set a goal to have a body like Denise - fit and solid - within the next year.

And so it was on Monday as we walked out of I-Power together after my workout. She had complimented me on the outfit I as wearing. And I felt good - yes, maybe all this working out was doing something for me - maybe I could achieve a body like Denise. And then she said it - the words I dreaded to hear - "I miss being able to wear outfits like that" - hmmm, I thought - odd statement to make. But, really, I don't know Denise well - I only just met her. Perhaps despite having a fit body - she made odd statements. But, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I had to probe further. "why?" - Oh, well, you know I'm 6 months and counting ... Counting I thought - counting what? Oh - and then it hit me - like the 20 pound Nikes in my gym bag. She was pregnant! 6 months and counting until her delivery date ... I had selected the one pregnant woman at I-Power as my role model.

Suffice it to say - I've decided that maybe Barbie's measurements aren't all that unrealistic and maybe standing without falling over is highly overrated.