Freedom is ....

Last week I travelled to Ohio for a conference. This was my first trip for work in over a year. Situations in my life limited my travel for work so when the opportunity arose to travel to a conference in Ohio that dealt with digital media's ubiquity in higher education - I took advantage of it. As "geeky" as it may sound, the conference would give me the chance to think about how digital media is transforming the way we think, the way we learn, and the way we come to expect what it means to be a lifelong learner. The conference also would give me a chance to be free. I would be free from the responsibilities of my life as a wife, a mom, a co-worker ... and would free me from the guilt I tend to feel if I haven't lived up to my responsibilities. The trip meant freedom - if only for three days.

Thursday night of the conference, a reception was held at the Freedom Center. I was so excited to attend the reception because I was so curious to see what constitutes a "freedom center." I was humbled by the evening. The Freedom Center was a tribute to slavery and those slaves that found their freedom through the rivers and terrain of Ohio. One of its main exhibits was the "shelter" that housed captive the slaves in the evening. As I walked within its walls, my heart saddened by humanity's ability to self-impose entitlement by controlling others. Along the walls that framed the house was a pictorial history of the slave trade. My eyes and heart were drawn to a small picture of a faceless female slave as she was entering the slave shelter. Beneath the picture was a saying "I am tired, but tomorrow I will go on." Those words echoed in my soul as I imagined her life and the courage she showed waking up each morning. I don't believe that I will ever forget thinking that being weary can strength our character as long as we faced another day - no matter what it may entail.

Later that evening, representatives from Apple Computers showed the winning video of a contest they hosted for college students. In less than a minute, students, through the use of digital media, were to answer the question "freedom is ...". In 45 seconds, the winning team shared their vision and their soul getting us to understand that "freedom is coloring outside the lines." The saying is simple, but its understanding is powerful. As a society, we try to force coloring within the lines - but those who are truly free are brave enough to color outside the lines and to face another day within a society that may have other expectations for them. Coloring outside the lines allows us to be free with our movements - physical, emotional, and soulful. The images were powerful in their simplicity and their brevity. For me, I have been trying to figure out how I would answer the question. When I began my trip - I thought I knew - freedom is freedom from responsibilities. But tonight, I realized that true freedom is riding without the training wheels.

My husband and I have since May tried to teach our first born, our Matthew, how to ride his bike without training wheels. All the neighborhood kids - some younger than he - all ride without training wheels. But Matthew struggled. His sense of balance was off, his pride was shattered with each fall, his excuses were numerous as he looked at his failure to ride his bike. One of the more poignant moments for me as a Mom was finding him crying at the kitchen table as he had been humbled by his inability to succeed in something - when for him - up until now - everything came easily. He is bright - his intellect is impressive - he never had to struggle to learn. But this bike riding was challenging him and for the first time in his life he realized that he may fail. It is a lesson we all learn at some point in our own lives, I was just ill-prepared to deal with it with my six year old. And so I did what every mother would do. I hugged my son and I told him he wasn't a failure - that failing has to do with not trying, not believing in yourself, not wanting to keep trying when things get hard. I promised my Matthew that by summer's end, he would be riding his bike, if only he believed he was not a failure. And so tonight, after several (and I do mean several) long, hot hours holding the back of his bike - we let him go free and he took off. He soared down the road without care, without fear, without failure.

And so it was tonight, I understood that freedom is riding without the training wheels. Freedom was his not because he could go around the culdesac with the other kids, but because he didn't stop believing in himself - no matter how tired he was - both physically and emotionally - he went on for another day. Freedom was his because he came to learn that there is a balance of his soul that supercedes his physical balance. Freedom was his because he realized that a promise was kept because we both believed in the power of his determination. Tonight I learned that while I may have thought freedom was about letting go of responsibilities, it was really about understanding the power of my responsibilities and strength of getting up for another day to embrace those responsibilities.