The Kindness of Strangers

My tooth is killing me. I've been needing dental work for a while, but just keep putting it off. Like most mothers, I equate my pain threshold to child birth. So when at about 3:30 this morning, I started lamenting the fact that I did not know a drug dealer to get me some heroine -- a drug that I am told is closest to nubane - which they give you during childbirth - I realized that I needed to see the dentist. It was either a visit to Dr. Johnson (whom I see regularly for cleanings) or I call my "acquaintance" ST whom I have the suspicion would know how I could get some heroine .... I decided on the former. But, Dr. Johnson could not see me until tomorrow. So today, I spent the day nursing my tooth ache with Advil and Darvaset and some peace as the house was quiet and I could try and rest.

But the silence was soon broken when the kids came home and Brian had had it. He had a bad parenting drive home - something he rarely does - he doesn't usually drive the kids. Tonight, they got the best of him and I realized that my dream (yeesh - I guess I do dream) of staying in my pajamas, and watching Betty White on the new version of password was short lived (a reason why I don't dare to dream). I had to get the kids out of the house.

And so it was after a quick dinner, I took the four kids to Meier to get a birthday present and grocery shop. I realized after about two items in the cart that this was a mistake. Lucas was tired, the older kids were not interested in groceries, but toys. And so I gave in - I figured, I'd just let them look at toys while I picked up to large tubs on wheels - which are conveniently located across from the toy aisle. This seemed to work. And that's when my second mistake occurred. I locked into getting pasta sauce and ground beef to make meat sauce for dinner next week. As I navigated the kids and two large tubs through Meier looking for the pasta sauce aisle, I realized that most folks shopping on a Thursday night have no patience for an overworked, overtired Mom trying her best not to knock over displays. When I finally reached "ethnic" aisle for my pasta sauce, a stranger was kind. One of the employees stocking the shelves engaged me in conversation. He admired how I had my hands full - and offered help when the two large tubs fell off the bottom of the cart. But his help came in a form that I wasn't expecting ... which ironically is how most of the help I receive comes to me -- he offered a suggestion of letting the kids ride in the wheeled tub while one pushed them -- a suggestion that my six year old took to heart. Matthew promptly placed Lucas, whom he had been walking through the store, a top the tub and sent him sailing down the aisle. Nicholas soon followed self propelling himself down the aisle. I stood there paralyzed, watching my children quickly fly pass Mexican, Asian, and Middle Eastern foods -- Lucas squealing with delight. I snapped out of my paralysis at the sound of Emme's voice "looks like I'm the good one now ..." and yes she was - as she laid there across the bench part of the cart (the reason why Lucas and Matthew were walking - she was being stubborn and not letting them on) - she realized that her stubborness was no match to the fact that my boys had now turned the corner and all I saw was a glimpse of Nicholas' butt and all I heard was Matthew yelling "use the force Luke" ....

And so it was as I tried to muster what little dignity and grace I had left, to run through the Meier after my boys, who much to their dismay had to stop their wild ride. And while I appreciate the kindness of strangers, I understand why the stock boy said what he said - he knew the boys would have fun - but what I can't understand is why no other shoppers thought to stop a one year old who was gliding down the center meat aisle followed joyfully by his brothers. I mean, did they honestly think that I said "hey kids, have at it?" - and not want to get involved? Our exit from the store was as graceful as expected. My stubborness (gee, I wonder where Emme gets it from?) made me force the kids through the checkout lane. I was buying those damn tubs if it killed me. Lucas was wailing as if it were severing his arm, Emme was insisting on candy because she was the "good one", Matthew was trying to see how fast he could spin the bag area, and Nicholas was trying unsuccessfully to get on the mechanical horse ... and I was pretending like this was perfectly normal for my life. And sadly it was ... which is probably why even now at 9:40 p.m. I still won't call ST to alleviate my tooth ache .....