Sixth Place

"Tell me again what's good about being second?" - it was a fair question that Emme asked, it just took me off guard. We were traveling back from her t-ball game and as I was trying to explain to her that even if she knew the ball traveled farther when she rolled it to first base (like you would a bowling ball) - it wasn't the way the game was played. But, this was Emme and the t-ball game was in the past - albeit five minutes in the past - and she was on to more serious issues - like how Matthew - who is first - gets all the cool playdates. Last Saturday he got to go to Knights Action Water Park and tonight he went to dinner and a movie with a friend much to Emme's dismay. According to Emme, being in second place was a bad place to be in because you didn't get any fun. My attempt to alleviate her angst by telling her it was better than third place failed miserably as it put my very smart three year old into a tail spin as he realized he was now in fact third in line for all the fun. Parenting is hard - just when you think you have figured out the game, the rules change or more players are added or more clouds appear when you think you are bringing some sunshine to the day. My attempts to have Matthew be more of a kid and less of a 6 year old going on 40 ... is working for him, but for the others - it is failing.

And yet, I have to wonder - what is my place? I mean if Matthew is first, Emme second ... you get where I'm going - given my family dynamics I could find myself in 6th place. And clearly, if second and third place is no fun, imagine sixth place. And so I did. I imagined sixth place for the rest of the drive home. I realized that my son has a better social life than I do, that my daughter is better able to convey her feelings than I am, my three year old is swift enough to get what he wants out of a conversation - which is a playdate with a friend that he'll make "tomorrow" ... even Lucas in fourth place is sitting - err - sleeping pretty well as he was able to crash in his car seat on the way home from the t-ball game. And then of course, I wondered if I could I be in fifth place and came to the conclusion that at my core, I'd never let myself take fifth place - that would be for my husband. So then - who would tell me what was so good about sixth place?

And as I thought about it - this past week, most of my close friends have told me what is so good about being in last place. In last place, your friends cheer louder so that you finish the race. In sixth place, your friends remind you that you are not alone as you run the race. In sixth place, your friends will tell you that you aren't mean and selfish if you do things to make your life easier. In sixth place, I realize I have the opportunity to watch the others finish their race - one whose course is never really well-defined because life's adventures may change the path. In sixth place, I realize that it isn't so important that you are fast at finishing your race, but that you can see the direction in which you and those you love are headed.

And so to my dear Emme, as I pulled into the garage, I was able to tell her that she was right - that sometimes the fun is being in sixth place....