Dancing wonders

My kids and I have a ritual on Saturday mornings. We get up and make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. At first read, this sounds like the quintessential Rockwellian (as in Norman) image - a Mom and her kids baking together. But, in truth, the ritual started because my kids get up so early in the morning on the weekends that I was always looking for ways to engage them so that my husband could sleep in. The breakfast making idea stemmed in part from my oldest son's, Matthew's, keen interest in cooking and the teacher in me who figured that in baking there are several lessons of math and science (yes, electricity makes things hot - don't touch the griddle) to be learned. And so it has been for over two years now that most Saturdays, we get up and make chocolate chip pancakes.

But these past days have been very long for me - a lot to do, not enough time to do it all, and as a result, not a lot of sleep to be had. So on this particular morning, I dreaded the ritual. I dreaded it at 5 a.m. this morning when Anakin Skywalker, a fairy princess, and the boy wonder woke me as they were trying to fill water balloons in the bathroom. Yes, in their attempt to "let us sleep in", my kids had donned their Halloween costumes, and explored their bags of Halloween candy to find the balloons our neighbors had passed out. And despite their repeated pleas to let me let them finish filling the balloons, because "for real, Mom - we weren't going to throw them anywhere" - I decided it was time to take them downstairs, which meant the ritual would begin.

But, this Saturday was different - I was too tired for the pancakes. I didn't have the patience to make an extra batch of pancakes so that all three kids could crack an egg. I didn't have the patience to try and make sense of the fact that while I did not want them eating their Halloween candy first thing in the morning, I could put a cup of chocolate chips in the pancakes. And, I didn't see the logic in the fact that the bananas I put with the pancakes somehow offset the chocolateness of the pancakes. And so it was that this particular morning, I broke tradition. I sent the kids to the basement, turned on my iPod, and started making scrambled eggs.

I can't really tell you at what point in time the kids migrated back into the kitchen from the basement. But what I do remember is being asked to dance. My Nicky - at two - takes my hand and in four simple words "mommy dance with me" - made me realize that "in the end, we will only just remember how it feels ... that our lives our made in these small hours" with these little wonders. I had heard that song a hundred times - maybe more. My iPod was filled with music from children's movies. I was ever so grateful that movie producers were finally asking adult lyricists to compose music for children's movies because now both the kids and I could enjoy listening to the same songs. And we were - enjoying the music this morning - my fairy princess dancing while watching her reflection in the dishwasher as Jack Johnson asked "is this how its suppose to be?" - my jedi knight taking his turn on the makeshift dance floor as he and his sister pretended to be dancing with the stars -- and I twirled my two youngest - 2 years and 6 months - both in my arms, watching them gleefully try to make sense of the world as it spun by them.

The eggs got made, the bacon was done - and we danced and we ate. But soon my jedi knight, fairy princess, and boy wonder wanted to play outside trying to capture what will soon be fleeting moments of sunshine - and I needed to clean - both the dirty pan from the scrambled eggs and Lucas who was wearing just as much of his oatmeal and banana cereal as he had eaten. And as I sat contemplating whether or not it would be a good idea to clean both the pan and my 6 month old together in the kitchen sink - the soulful voice of Tracy Chapman came over my iPod asking "if you saw the face of God and love would you change?". I paused. Our Saturday morning ritual was less about food and about math and more about being together - finding that time amidst the twists and turns of fate - to feel real and to feel right with the world. And as my eyes glanced outside the window - I realized I had seen the face of God and love. Today - this day - they were in the form of a Jedi Knight, a fairy princess, and the boy wonder. And even at 5 a.m., water balloons and all, I would not change.