Shall We Dance?

My contribution to the Junior League is that I always sign up my husband and daughter to go to the Festival of Trees - Daddy/Daughter Dinner Dance. I'm not much of a Junior Leaguer. I know they do good work. I have many friends who are part of the Junior League. But, I can't seem to join an organization who makes their volunteers take training on how to volunteer. It seems contrary to me. I think if you want to give of your time - you give it. I feel like we have so many constraints put on us by society that volunteering was one of the last great freedoms we have - it is our opportunity to give back in a way that we can give back. So to me, being told how to "give back" goes against my belief of something coming genuinely from the heart. I'm sure this is a bad characterization of the Junior League and an unfair assessment - as I know they do very good work in the community. But, I still resist joining the Junior League - despite the fact that it might actually get me out of the house once in a while.

So, the Daddy/Daughter Dinner Dance is the closest I come to the Junior League. And like every year, I always wait until the last minute to get tickets to the dance and then keep praying that there is still room. Although, I've come to the conclusion that there will always be room - I think it is tradition now for me to panic a bit about getting Brian and Emme into the dance. My second area of panic has to do with the dress. I'm not much of a shopper - never have been - but, I feel compelled to get Emme a dress that would be comparable to all the other girls at the dance. A big, frufru dress that I hated as a child, but that I would insist that she wears. Yet, this year, I was sick prior to the dance and the thought of going to pick out a dress lacked any sort of excitement to me. Even the fact that the Dads at Matthew's basketball practice were talking about the "big event" of dress shopping couldn't convince me to go to the mall. My own guilt over dragging myself out of the house for basketball and not for a dress couldn't even get me to the store. And there it was the night before the dance and I stressed about a dress. I knew Walmart was open 24 hours and I could find something there - or Kohl's opened early - I could find something there. Might not be ideal - but, it would be a new dress. But Emme had a different idea.

She had found in her closet a very simple, velvety maroon dress with "sparkles on the bottom" - that was a hand-me-down from a friend of ours. "I'll wear this mom --- with tights" - and it was settled. The next night, she dressed, I did her hair, she ate her Ritz crackers with cheese, and took some photos with her Dad all in about 20 minutes. And they left for the dance. Emme in her simple maroon dress with sparkles, her hair barely combed and her Dad in his suit. They arrived home a couple hours later with ice cream.

Brian had taken some pictures of Emme while at the dance. And as I looked through them I see all the girls in these very nice, and yes, some very elaborate dresses. Emme looked beautiful, but her dress was clearly not like the other girls. I asked her if she had fun. I asked her if she liked her dress - because in the abyss of my mind I was convinced that somehow her lack of a fancy dress would put her in therapy at age 25 - yet she answers yes to all my questions. I asked them again when she got up this morning and she looked at me as only Emme could and she said, "Mom, the dress, the dance was okay - for real Mom - it was. But, really, I just like going out with Daddy". My Emme - my genuine little girl - she looked past it all and realized that what was important wasn't the dress or the music, but time with her Dad - time for a dance, time for some ice cream, and time for a hug.

I'm fairly certain that Emme is even less of a Junior Leaguer than I am ....